SELF CONFIDENCE

The elephant and the sparrow were great friends. But the elephant always felt sad that he was not able to fly like his friend sparrow. So one day he asked sparrow to teach him how to fly. The sparrow agreed and led him to a cliff.

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Pulling out a feather she said: "Hold this feather tight in your mouth and flap your ears and jump down this cliff and you will fly."

The elephant belived her words, held the feather in his mouth and flapped his ears and behold he began to fly.  He flew over the villages, the rivers and cities and returned to his friend very happy and told her: " Your feather is very powerful. Can I have this feather because I want use it whenever I want to fly."

The sparrow said: "It’s not my feather. It's a hair from your tail. You only need to believe in your ability to fly. Believe in yourself and you will do miracles!"

There is something common in all achievers and that is self-confidence. It gives them courage to take greater risks and achieve more than they ever thought possible. Self-confidence extends their reach and makes them do miracles.

Self-confidence is our attitude which gives us a positive and realistic views about ourselves. It helps us to trust our abilities and believe that we can achieve what we dream.

Self-confident  people have realistic expectations of themselves and others. Even if some of these expectations are not met they remain positive, accept themselves and look optimistically to conquer greater heights.

They feel good about themselves even when others don't appreciate and acknowledge their efforts. They don't long for the approval of others and are willing to risk and do what others are scared of doing because they believe in their ability to win. Jack Welch says, "Self-confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible."

Self-confidence is contagious. Self-confident  people instill confidence in others and gain the confidence of others. It is the secret of effective and successful living.

Our self-confidence is expressed in our behaviour, body language, the way we dress, talk, look, walk, what we say and think, the way we act and relate etc. A self-confident  person fears nothing, has attained the truth and lives free of error.

The signs of low self-confidence are feeling of guilt, skepticism, self-shame, pride, fear, pretension, laziness, unforgiving attitudes, depression, lack of trust in oneself and others, pessimism, inferiority complex, procrastination, self-doubt, passivity, submissiveness, isolation and jealousy etc.

Be glad there are ways by which we can build up our self-confidence.

1. HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF

Our self-confidence increases when we believe in our abilities to perform and manage things. All of us have innumerable talents and potentials, only we are often not aware of many of them. To believe in our capabilities we first of all must identify what we have. For this we have to do a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis and realistically look at ourselves. We will discover that we are people of great possibilities and potentials. This faith in our abilities will boost our self-confidence. We must dwell more on our strengths and use them to negate and correct our weaknesses.

2. LOOK AT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

We can successfully do so many things. We too are great achievers. But we often brood over our failures and make our lives miserable. Think often of your successes and this will help you to increase your self-confidence. Our fear of failures prevents us from taking up anything new and challenging. Remember that we have so many qualities and abilities and that we too can be successful if we perform with all our energy, mind and heart.

3. FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

No one can make us feel inferior without our permission. To boost our self-confidence first of all we must feel good about ourselves. The secret of all successful and happy living is to love oneself. When I am unhappy with myself I see unhappiness everywhere and I make all those around me unhappy. I must accept myself and feel good about the way I am, the way I look, my colour, my size, my shape and believe that the world can't be same if I am not there. Enjoy yourself once in a while by joining your friends for a night out, enjoying a good meal, going for a movie, playing some games etc. Laugh and forget yourself and enjoy some moments and run away from your work and stress. Such activities can boost your self- confidence.

4. FIX CHALLENGING GOALS

Goals can do miracles in our lives. Greater the goals greater is our self-confidence. We should have both small goals and big goals. The achievement of small goals will give us enough enthusiasm and self- confidence to run towards bigger and more challenging goals. We must think positively about our abilities to achieve our goals and reward ourselves when we achieve them.

5. BRING IN COMMITMENT AND PASSION

Our self-confidence depends on the degree of our commitment to a cause. If we are mediocre and half-hearted the result will also be same. We must commit ourselves to success and become passionate about what we do. Our commitment is expressed in our eagerness and desire to learn and develop new skills, knowledge and talents. When we are more prepared with commitment, knowledge and skills to do a thing we become more confident.  Read more about in 'Be Positive' page...

Believe in yourself, have confidence in yourself and you will indeed do miracles.